Day 120!!!

So today is the 4 month mark...wow.  Once again, I am in awe of where I have come from and where I am now.  I really am a new creation and nothing will ever be the same, Praise the KING OF KINGS!!!  Beth Moore wrote in her devotional today..."I not only love God and trust Him, I love trusting Him.  It is a constant reminder of a perpetual miracle in my life."  Sometimes I wonder when I will be able to turn to HIM only and trust everything to HIM!  I was reminded today at lunch to just ask for the things that we need....I haven't once asked GOD to heal my body.  Makes me wonder why.  I did ask GOD to heal my body after that.

Busy summer ahead, just picked up 2 grandkids to stay for two months, family reunions, camping, beach trips and the list goes on.  There is a worry that I will be so caught up in all the activity, I will forget about taking care of me.  This is one of the things I believe GOD THE FATHER OF ALL is asking me to do.  I have a tendency, as I am sure most of us mothers do, to put ourselves last.  I did it because I was not worthy of the attention that would get put on me.  (I still feel twinges of guilt when I go for a treatment.)  Is that living a full life?  I think not! Here is one of my readings today,  it is Ps 57:7-11:
⁷ My heart is confident in you, O God;
      my heart is confident.
      No wonder I can sing your praises!
 ⁸ Wake up, my heart!
      Wake up, O lyre and harp!
      I will wake the dawn with my song.
 ⁹ I will thank you, Lord, among all the people.
      I will sing your praises among the nations.
 ¹⁰ For your unfailing love is as high as the heavens.
      Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. ¹¹ Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens.
      May your glory shine over all the earth.
It was a beautiful sunny day and I should have been praising the ALMIGHTY ONE all day.  To exalt HIM to the heavenlies as the psalmist says......someday we will all be there.

so month 4......joined a new club, had lunch with wonderful new friends, danced like a crazy woman with my granddaughter......rest of life??????believing in the miracle.


If this is your day 1, remember to put HIM in front of you.  HE will shelter you and keep you safe.  Trust and have faith because HE loves us SO MUCH I can't even contain it in the words I write.  I am praying for you and ask that you pray for me.  I still have a long way to go.
Loving you, Jules

Days....losing track!!

I am so happy I am losing track of how many days it has been.  I think I will just do months now.  I remember when I had started this and I told someone it had been 18 days and she replied "well, it will be better when you can say its been 33 days!"  She was right (LOL) it was really good to say that.
Flew to Denver to pick up my grandkids for the summer and just returned today.  There is nothing greater in the world than grandparenting.  Ask any grandparent..... :)  Has grandparenting changed with this generation?  I didn't really have a grandparent so I am not sure if I overdo this grandparent thing or not.  I love these babies so much it hurts!  I am curious about that though.  I tend to lose myself in the midst of this though and this year I still have to focus on me first.  Here is an analogy I thought about in the plane as the safety demonstration was going on.  When the oxygen mask drops, you are to take care of you first and then the children.  Hey moms, take note...take care of you first, your children will be much happier.  I am going to keep reminding myself of this this summer.
Met a wonderful girl on the plane who is doing this art therapy course online.  It is called "Brave Girls" and lasts for 7 weeks.  She and I were on the same path spiritually and emotionally and we talked the entire flight about all we were both doing.  I can just see again how GOD OUR HEAVENLY FATHER takes care of every little thing in our lives.  I needed to meet this girl and her art was amazing.  Thank you Father for that gift.......
So, just started looking at my readings and totally missed my time with GOD for 4 days and the first thing I read was Isaiah 55:8-9 ⁸ “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
      “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
 ⁹ For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
      so my ways are higher than your ways
      and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.
Very fitting for the last few days!  Isn't HE amazing in our lives?  


So, days whatever.........met an amazing woman, having amazing moments with grand kids, absolutely exhausted, and ready to tackle whatever is next!  Rest of life?????? Feeling so strong and ready for all the fullness!

Take care of yourself, that seems to be the only thing I am supposed to finish with tonight.  I am praying for your day 1.
Lovingly, Jules

Day 113

Isn't it strange that one day you can feel amazing and the next you feel like crap?  I believe it is the enemy of our souls doing everything to keep us from winning the battle.  If you then turn it around, it probably is the LORD OF ALL CREATION, doing everything to keep us from winning the battle.  HE seems to do the best work in me when I am at my lowest.  I just gave myself a new belief system.  Interesting......Reading Galatians 2:20-21:
^"20 My old self has been crucified with Christ.^[e] It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. ²¹ I do not treat the grace of God as meaningless. For if keeping the law could make us right with God, then there was no need for Christ to die."
So today is Memorial Day, remembering all those men and women who sacrificed their lives so that we can be free.  This is a whole sermon just in this sentence!  Do we really remember the sacrifice of Jesus so that we can be free?  Memorial Day should be for this also.  My husband & I went to Egypt and Israel a couple of years ago and I loved the muslim call to prayer times.  What a great thing to do....stop what you are doing, get on your knees and pray.  I did.  Do we remember our lives before GOD set us free?  I remember how miserable I was, life was but a shadow of what it was supposed to be.
I am ready to start talking again about full life.....what does my full life look like?  I can say I am scared to lay all the garbage down, who am I without it?  Here are my scriptures for today....so astounded once again!

“I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?” - Psalm 56:4
 Col 2:8-10 ⁸ Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers^[a] of this world, rather than from Christ. ⁹ For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body.^{[b] 10} So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority. 
Eph 3:18-20
  ¹⁸ And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. ¹⁹ May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
 ²⁰ Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Fullness of life is starting with how much GOD loves us. Look at verse 18....can we ever know what that really means?  Then to be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from GOD! HE has it all in HIS power.  We just need to trust HIM with all of ourselves.  I'm tired of trying to please everyone else before I try to please THE ALMIGHTY ONE. 

 so, day 113.......got some important things accomplished, had an amazing treatment from Trish, made some killer broth to start a fast, rest of life????? praying on hands and knees for HIS power!!!

If this is your day one, remember to pray to the ONE who will lift you to the heavenlies so you can breathe.  I pray for you and believe.
Loving you and having faith, Jules

Day 112

I know I should be writing more but finding the time right now has been difficult.  Lots going on though, seems I get to keep on with all my treatments and trying to figure out why my body has decided to go awol on me.  I know this is all emotional garbage that GOD is moving out, so it becomes scary, not only emotionally but physically as well.  I am finally starting to cry,  REAL BIG DEAL! for me....my poor best friend got the worst of it and was probably the only one I know that could take it.  Aren't we so blessed as women to have our girlfriends?  I hope your men understand the girlfriend thing.....we make each other better women, don't you think?
So today is all about letting go, forgiving myself, and letting the hurt finally heal.  The smokescreen was needed to hide the pain and now that it is gone, I get to see the real truths about my rest of life.  My readings today are great reminders for me to honor GOD by honoring my body.  Taking care of this earthly vessel is sometimes so mundane and I hate taking the time to do it, but I have to keep looking at where I am because of that very thought.  Here is 1 COR 6:19-20
¹⁹You surely know that your body is a temple where the Holy Spirit lives. The Spirit is in you and is a gift from God. You are no longer your own. ²⁰God paid a great price for you.          


What a privilege it is to know that HE is doing all this for my good and HIS glory.  I saw a picture in my head of my past life the other day...there was this pile of ashes and I was rising up out of it and the ashes were the all the days I smoked and just burned away.  I am so thankful I have quit.  And again, here is another scripture from today:  LUKE 1:37 "Nothing, you see, is impossible with God."  HE is the only way I can get through all this!
So I am looking back through the last 112 days and seeing the hand of GOD woven throughout this process.  Now I can see the lessons, (sometimes hard, sometimes easy) are showing me how GOD wants me to be.  I feel pretty fragile still but that is to be expected.  If you are in the process of quitting right now, don't give up.  It just gets better and better.  There is this spot in the 3 month area where you believe you are done......you think you can have one, why not? what will it hurt? you just did 100 days!  LIES LIES LIES!!! I almost gave in.  I was with a friend for a week and she is a smoker, could have easily gotten one from her, then I heard the "VOICE" and prayed.  Thought went away and knew I had dodged a bullet.
Check this out....it is from the NLT version- 1 PETER 5:8   "Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."


So, day 112.............was at peace for the first time in 2 weeks, ate well, drank lots of water, heard GOD all day.........rest of life????? LIVING with fullness!
If this is your day one, give it over to the ALMIGHTY ONE, HE can see you through it all.  Believe in HIS power not your own.  HE loves you so much!
Lovingly and in prayer, Jules

Day...don't really care

I can't believe I haven't posted since April 4th.  Don't even know what day it is now.  That is a good thing!  It has been such a busy couple of months and I have been gone ALOT!  So much going on and life is moving so fast I keep forgetting to breathe.  I would love to go back to those first 30 days where I was taking such good care of myself and really focusing on me.....brief moments well spent.
I do know I need to keep writing.....I have loved the time spent writing and have missed it so much!  Look at today's reading in Biblegateway.com:
Zephaniah 3:17  "Your God is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you.
Happy to have you back, he'll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs." 
 I was laughing so hard when I read this because really???  Could this have been a more appropriate scripture?  I think HE has missed it too!  What an awesome GOD!! we serve.

So lets catch up....have been seeing alot of changes in the way I think, finally am able to focus on a project (that took almost the whole 90 days),have made some great new friends, starting to really believe that I am a non smoker....feels so good to be this non smoking person. I am realizing how much I kept people at arms length for fear they would smell smoke on me.  I like being close to people now.  I used being a germaphobe as my reason but I know now that was a lie.  I am also trying to figure out what is going on with my body, it doesn't want to function properly.  I know it is GOD keeping me on my knees.  Started riding bikes, and yes it is a big deal!, haven't gained or lost any weight, eating is still messed up but I think my metabolism is starting to work.  I actually have started to feel hunger pangs which I never have had.  Our bodies are amazing things....and of course they would be cuz look who created them!  The naturopath I am seeing has told me I am one of those people that my body was probably constantly rejecting the smoke and was having to rewrite the functions.  Sounds weird, yet makes sense because of the way it is detoxing.  Can't find the reasons for the blood pressure or the edema so am believing that the body is deleting the sequences it had to write in order to function...yea, that's it!! LOL!  (Self diagnoser) What else...getting lots of spa treatments, made my yoga room fantastic, redid the office area, and generally am able to get anything done.  Life is getting full!!!

Here is another one of my readings for today:  This is from the Message
Phllipians 3:12-14:  ^"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. "
HE is so cool...............how can I not bow before THE MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE? 

So, today is really day 99, and all I can think is wow.  I had to go back and count but I am astounded I have made it this far.  So if today is your day 1, hang on, the ride is wild so let GOD, MASTER OF ALL YOU ARE, be in control.  HE will guide you where you need to go. 
I am praying for you all again, remember how much GOD loves you.  It's important.  Jules

Day 57

Well, it certainly has been a very interesting day today and I am feeling better.  Not 100% mind you, but better.  I have started to really listen to my body and I need to back off the bikram somewhat and start doing restorative yoga also, I am also eating vegetarian...and taking supplements!  What you don't know about me is that I have scoffed at supplements and also vegetarians my whole life!  But this water retention is driving me crazy and it is keeping my blood pressure really high.  I learned today that detoxing will take on many forms for a while, but I need to be loving my body through it.  Thanking my "self" for the hard work it is going through.  I guess this could be about self-love now couldn't it?  See how GOD is inter-twining all these things together to bring me into the Full Life HE wants me to have? Full of HIS grace, HIS mercy, HIS power......how many things can I list that I have heard or read but never truly understood until now?  So............not mad at my body anymore, as I laugh to myself! 
I am finding this blog becoming my time with GOD...I get up in the morning and immediately start doing my yoga then its on to the rest of the day and finally at the end of the day, it is HIS time.  I am praying more, seeking out HIS wisdom more, trusting that voice inside and knowing it is HIM more, basically having more and more of HIM in me and the faith to believe it.  I am just starting to read the whole account of the death and resurrection of Jesus and my bible has a chart that you can read all 4 gospel accounts.  Powerful stuff thinking about the last supper and Judas' betrayal.  Can't wait to read more tomorrow.  And I love my Beth Moore daily devotional...it is her praying 'God's Word Day by Day'.  I sometimes can't believe how it always fits the day.......here is what I got today:
"I am your dearly loved child. I am from You, LORD GOD, and have overcome the influences of the evil kingdom, because the ONE who is in me is greater than the one who is in the world (1John 4:4)".  
Always amazed, full of wonder, loving my KING!

so....day 57, at vegetarian all day, took my supplements, did bikram, actually stayed focused all day, cried a little,.........rest of life????free from the smokescreen!

Hoping that this is your day 1, praying all the time for you!  May HIS peace surround you and give you much needed rest.  Lovingly, Jules

day 56

Can you believe it is day 56?  I can't either!  I am so proud of myself...I was with one of my friends who smokes today, I didn't even care!  The smell doesn't bother me and I have no desire to "light one up"!  Astounding!!  I now believe I am over the hump, but I have learned not to get prideful AT ALL about anything. 
God has surrounded me with so many beautiful healers....my friend Trish, a massage specialist, insisted I have a lymphatic body wrap and cupping session today.  So wonderful was this treatment that it took away the cankles.  It also put me into such a meditative state that I saw a vision of something God was going to do for me.  The vision gave me such a sense of peace and knowing that HE was there in the room, I can't describe what it really felt like......too big for words. I wrote a poem to HIM in my head and have been trying most of the day to get it on paper. 

Listen to what my Beth Moore devotional says today:
If we are going to live in freedom, we have no choice but to renounce every single secret place of sin in our lives to GOD.
   "O lord our GOD, other lords besides you have ruled over me, but your name alone is the one I want to honor (Isa 26:13).  Please help me understand that these sins and addictions have been terrible and destructive rulers in my life.  Help me to cease to honor them.  Father, your WORD tells me that anyone who trusts in YOU will never be put to shame (Rom 10:11).  How I celebrate that the time has come to put all shame behind me!"

Can you even believe that?  I was living in secret shame for all the things I knew were not pleasing to HIM!  They were not pleasing to me!!!!  Here is another reading from today...
“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace”.  This is Eph 1:7...
So, needless to say, I am no longer mad at GOD, or myself, or my body.  This is a good thing.  I am going to be doing alot of travel soon and I am putting together my survival kit again.  I will once again be out of the cocoon for a long period of time, out of my routine, (which I just got into the routine!), not going to be exercising the same, so am a little worried.  I found a coupon for a week of free hot yoga in Colo Springs which I will totally utilize!  I have set up a hot yoga room in my house and I am definitely going to miss it....!  Will I be able to blog?  This has become therapy for me...
Oh well, here we go again....life is not about hiding in the cocoon any longer.

so, day 56.....had an amazing spa treatment, drank my juice, took my supplements, prayed all day......rest of life???? let me just say, it is going to be veerrrrrryyyyy interesting!

Blessings on you and so much love.....The ALMIGHTY ONE loves us so much that it can't be described. Bask in that love and give HIM your day 1.  Praying for you, Jules

Day 55

Today was a good day...as I can only go by each day, I am beginning to think I am manic-depressive.  One day up, one day down.  I love this journey though.  Isn't that what life really is?   Could you imagine every day being the same?  I know I love this craziness of mine and most people that love me, I think love it too.  It keeps my husband on his toes, thats for sure.  Which by the way, I must give major kudos and all the other awards you can think of, to my amazing husband.  For the life of me, I don't know why I was so blessed with this man.  He is such a tower of strength and comfort for me and I never would have gotten through most of this without him.  I love you so much, thanks for being my husband...and all that it entails.

So, went back through the nicotine withdrawal symptoms......here they are again:

• Cravings to smoke/ have never really had this
• Irritable, cranky/ not really this either
• Insomnia/yes
• Fatigue/yes
• Inability to Concentrate/yes
• Headache/yes
• Cough/no
• Sore throat/yes
• Constipation, gas, stomach pain/no
• Dry mouth/yes
• Sore tongue and/or gums/yes
• Postnasal drip/yes
• Tightness in the chest/yes

I posted this list on day 16 and most of my answers were ..no...because I was the perfect quitter at that time don't forget.  So I have most of the symptoms now, and am really excited I got the post nasal drip..I so want to use this line.."oh, forgive me, I quit smoking and now I have post-nasal drip!"  I have now heard that for every year you have smoked, that is a month you have to detox!  Why didn't anyone tell me this before?  Would I have listened?  Perhaps I would have...

"The Almighty One" gave me a good talking to today regarding some past !crap! HE wants me to deal with!  (can you tell I am still a little bit upset with HIM?)  HE is not letting me get too far away and of course my study today was all about fear....Deut 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” 
Even one of my dearest friends talked to me about her fears and how she is learning to deal with them.  I know this is a scary place for me....I am looking from the inside out for the first time in my life, and I know this is the only way I can heal.  I want GOD THE ALMIGHTY to heal me right now, but I know deep down that I need to take this process slow.  HIS reassurance that HE is always here besides me is comforting, but mostly I have been wallowing in fear for my life because I have always done everything quickly and well and most things come easy for me.  This is so different from anything I have ever known!

so day 55.......cankles came back, spent the day with brides, did my yoga, ate like crap and have gut ache,  rest of life???........crawling still, breathing shallow, reaching for the thread, giving it all to THE KING OF KINGS again!

I pray for your rest of life, HE does have an amazing plan and purpose for each of us.  I love you and please keep me in your prayers....Jules

rest of life.......not yet.! Day 54

Ok..I am back.  Not with the same intensity I was when I started this journey,  It is odd how I feel my self disconnecting with the "old self" to create this whole person, whom I don't know very well yet.  Lots has happened since the last post and I am excited to get back to this blog.
I read back through my blog and I am astounded at how God had a word everyday that fit into exactly what I was going through or how I was feeling.  I have to be honest that right now, I am mad at God, mad at me, and mad at my body.  I was expecting faster results I guess, and my body is doing some really bizarre things.  I am really mad at myself for doing this to my body, and I am mad at God for making me go through this.  There were a couple of times in the first 30 days that I had asked God to take this from me......HE chose to let me go through anyway.  I finally feel like I am ready to break down and that, perhaps, is what He is waiting for.  I don't cry........what is the PURPOSE in that???  Pisses me off to think about it.

I want to talk about self-love...look inside, very quietly, to see the essence of who you really are.  Can you love that little girl or boy who was not so lovable, or that teenager that continued to disappoint everyone.  How about now? Are there tears that have been shed over lost hopes or dreams?  Lost because you couldn't believe? or trust? or surrender? or whatever?  I am learning about all these "little ones" that needed to be loved through all the heartache.  For me, it was always heartache.  This smokescreen I put up was hindering my life with almost everyone.  I shut myself off from people to different extents, but no one was allowed to really get all the way in.  I have tried to be everyone's everything.  Impossible task, but so necessary for the "little ones" to be loved even for just a little bit.  I am letting all this go and it does feel amazing, yet there is sadness in it too.  I deserve a life that is all the way full....and the past has kept it at half-full.
 So, guess what Beth Moore has to say today???
'If we're willing to admit our lack of confidence in Him, Christ is more than willing to help us overcome our unbelief!  (I so wanted to stay mad at GOD today!)  And this is her scripture reference:

John 15: 9-11:
  "I've loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you'll remain intimately at home in my love. That's what I've done—kept my Father's commands and made myself at home in his love.
 "I've told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature.

Pretty sure, I didn't really want to hear that again today.   Here is a quote I found the other day that I loved and really spoke to me:

He draws close, to ripen my wisdom, to deepen my peace, to increase my courage, to augment my power to be of use to others, through the very experience which is so grievous and distressing, and then--as I read on the seal of one of those Scottish Covenanters whom Claverhouse imprisoned on the lonely Bass, with the sea surging and sobbing round--I grow under the load.
--Alexander Smellie.

so, day 54.....grieved for my "self"........rest of life???? its gonna get better, it just has to.

So here is to the first day of the rest of my life, again.  I am believing in the Almighty power of GOD to lift me up the the heavenlies!  I am praying for you as well, that you will be lifted into the heavenlies too.  Peace and grace abounding to you.
Lovingly, Jules

Day 30

Well, it is finally day 30 around here and what a psycho day it has been!  It makes me wonder how much the enemy of my soul is wanting to get me so stressed that I think I need a cigarette?  There was a brief moment around 11:15 that I went to the purse to grab one.....just shook my head and started breathing.  Blood pressure went down and craving went away.  Now its the end of the day and reflecting on things, you can see the little traps that get set, I'm going to call them "my little bumps" because you know how much I love to name things...anyway, I felt like satan was goading me.........peck, peck, peck.  I think clickity clack was trying to come back.  Whatever term you use it is still the enemy of your soul!!  So didn't really get into the WORD either because there was a lot of "pecking" going on.  BIG mistake...HUGE!!  I should have gone there first thing this morning...so when I finally did get to my reading for the day, It is 2 Cor 1:3-4  This is from The Message;

^3-5All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of 
all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too. 
 This was completely my day!!!!  HE is amazing!...everyday on this journey, HE has sent me a word that lifts me up.  Even when I didn't seek HIM today, he was alongside.  Here is Psalm 51:16-17 that spoke to me tonight..this is also from The Message;
^16-17 Going through the motions doesn't please you,
      a flawless performance is nothing to you.
   I learned God-worship 
     when my pride was shattered.
   Heart-shattered lives ready for love
      don't for a moment escape God's notice. 
 So this might be my last post for a while, I really am feeling like this needs to become a.....rest of life??blog.  
I don't know what this rest of life is going to look like and I am excited about that.  The smokescreen is gone and I am ready for what GOD would want me to do.  I love that I can finally see HIS GLORY and I know I have been looking for it my whole life.  Saw glimpses mind you, but to really experience what I have these last thirty days is nothing short of a miracle for me.

so day 30, beat the smoking demons once again!!, saw how precious my life is to HIM, crying like a baby right now, .....rest of life???? In service to MY LORD WHO SAVES and loves me so....

Blessed days to you all, seek GOD in your day 1, and always remember, today is the first day of the rest of life.  Cherish it and cherish yourself!  THE GOD of the universe loves you so much!!  I love you so much too.

 Jules

day 29

Wow, I can't believe that it is going to be a 30 day milestone tomorrow.  What a journey this has been and I know it is still just the beginning.  I do feel like I was a non-smoker from day 1 but there have been a few bumps.  I have a bet going with one of my sisters and I have to admit, if it wasn't for that bet, I might have had one.  The loser of our bet has to take the winner to a luxury spa.....need I say more.  I am not going to lose this bet.  The bet ends on May 7th and hopefully it will be a wash.  Both of us are in such a better place because of it.  Little did I know that this would become such a spritual journey for me, but GOD has had a purpose for this.  That word has been in the forefront of my mind all day again...PURPOSE!  Here is the dictionary definition:

1. the reason for which anything is done, created, or exists

2. a fixed design, outcome, or idea that is the object of an action or other effort

3. fixed intention in doing something; determination a man of purpose

4. practical advantage or use to work to good purpose

5. that which is relevant or under consideration (esp in the phrase to or from the purpose)

I like # 1.  And if anyone is looking for new ways to quit smoking, there is an article in the Eugene Daily News that talks about this UO study that texting can help you quit smoking!  Yeah! I knew texting would be good for something someday!!!

I am just now starting to have dreams and desires about what this life is going to look like without smoking being in it.  I am believing for the purpose of this, that GOD, the ALMIGHTY ONE of the UNIVERSE, is going to use this journey as glory unto HIM!
My reading today is Ps 139: 23-24
 ²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
      test me and know my anxious thoughts.
 ²⁴ Point out anything in me that offends you,
      and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

 I love this psalm so much...it is my go to psalm for just about everything.  When I am feeling down, happy, introverted, extroverted, whatever....this psalm says it all.  My Beth Moore devotional was Phil 4:13  "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."   Hasn't this been such a recurring scripture throughout this whole blog!!??  How can I ever doubt THE ONE, THE GREAT I AM??  I could never have done this without HIM.  To feel HIS presence this whole time is amazing, and I know how unworthy I  really am.  HE loves me so much.

so day 29....worked on the deep clean which is just going to end up being the spring clean!, had a lovely dinner with my lovely husband, no Vit  C chewables, rest of life????lifting my hands in praise to the KING of KINGS!!

Keep praying loved ones...GOD is surrounding us and no thing can harm us.  Hope your day 1 is today and your rest of life is filled with HIS glory.  I love you all.

Jules

day 28

Glorious sunny day......all I could do was read poetry.  Here is one that spoke to where I am feeling things the most...my soul

Be all at rest, my soul, O blessed secret,
Of the true life that glorifies thy Lord:
Not always doth the busiest soul best serve Him,
But he that resteth on His faithful Word.
Be all at rest, let not your heart be rippled,
For tiny wavelets mar the image fair,
Which the still pool reflects of heaven's glory--

And thus the image He would have thee bear.

Be all at rest, my soul, for rest is service,

To the still heart God doth His secrets tell;

Thus shalt thou learn to wait, and watch, and labor,

Strengthened to bear, since Christ in thee doth dwell.

For what is service but the life of Jesus,

Lived through a vessel of earth's fragile clay,

Loving and giving and poured forth for others,

A living sacrifice from day to day.

Be all at rest, so shalt thou be an answer

To those who question, "Who is God and where?"

For God is rest, and where He dwells is stillness,

And they who dwell in Him, His rest shalt share.

And what shall meet the deep unrest around thee,

But the calm peace of God that filled His breast?

For still a living Voice calls to the weary,

From Him who said, "Come unto Me and rest."

--Freda Hanbury Allen

 so day 28......finding a stillness in my spirit, loving my self, ........rest of life???? listening

Peace to you, let love fill every space, and I pray for your day 1.  Embrace where you are right now!  I love you all.

Jules

day 27

Something has infiltrated the cocoon.  The cocoon is the only place I want to smoke.....hmmm.  I am going to deep clean room by room starting tomorrow.  Don't think I can call it the cocoon anymore either!!  Dang!, I really like that term for my house.  It was such a calm peaceful word to describe a safe place to be.  Nowhere is safe...you have to be on your guard all the time while you are becoming a non-smoker.  Just kidding, I thought I would mix things up and make you all think I am getting paranoid.....the cocoon has been breached tho.

Today was interesting and wonderful.  Had to examine my motives and how I react to situations.  I love this self reflecting....why has it taken me so long to do this?  You really do have to be ready to embark on any journey or else it becomes an exercise in futility.  I saw how my defenses come up and the wall gets built and no one is allowed into the compound without express permission from the commandant.  Relationships are often left outside because to let them in would be too painful.  If you could really see the real me, then how could you love me?  Loving self is so important in these days we are in.  We forget about ourselves in the busy...ness of life and if we can't truly love ourselves, how can we love anyone else truly?  HE LOVES US SO MUCH!!  Read Ephesians 1.......this passage has so much meaning right now.
  ^11-12It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.     

I am trying so hard right now to redefine who I am.  Wait, do I really mean redefine?  And why am I trying so hard?  Once again, doing GODS job and failing miserably.  Will I ever be able to just let it be and believe?
I read this in Streams in the Desert today.........
The finest china in the world is burned at least three times, some of it more than three times. Dresden china is always burned three times. Why does it go through that intense fire? Once ought to be enough; twice ought to be enough. No, three times are necessary to burn that china so that the gold and the crimson are brought out more beautiful and then fastened there to stay.
We are fashioned after the same principle in human life. Our trials are burned into us once, twice, thrice; and by God's grace these beautiful colors are there and they are there to stay forever.
--Cortland Myers

so day 27...... getting refined by fire, defied the smoking demons once again, 12 Vit C chewables, rest of life???? loving the journey

So where can we flee from your presence, O HOLY ONE who loves us so?  Be free and live your day 1 like it is your last.  Rejoice in all things and believe you are so loved.  I love and pray for you.

Jules

day 26

Today was a day of disappointments.....I wanted to smoke all day.  Still do as I am typing.  I am glad that I am having days like this because I know they are for the greater good of getting over this addiction.  Let me repeat that 25 times...50 times....278 times...maybe I should write it 5000 times on the blackboard!  GOD never said this was going to be easy.  I have been pretty lucky that I haven't had huge withdrawal symptoms that put you over the edge!  Dr. Bond told me today that I need to make sure I am eating good food, drinking lots of water, exercising, and getting plenty of rest.  This will keep those urges away because I have already quit!  He is so right and so lets take a look at what I have done in all those areas: 
Eating good food:  yesterday I had a JR Whopper and a bowl of Grapenuts, today I had a KFC wrap, and a bowl of Grapenuts, so nope...not eating good food.  (Really need to get to grocery store!)
Drinking lots of water:  I am drinking water, not lots but some
Exercising:  1 bikram yoga class in 2 weeks and haven't been to Curves in 2 weeks, so nope.....not exercising!
Get lots of rest:  4-6 hrs a night and 1 nap this past week, so nope.....not getting the proper amount of rest either!
So maybe the disappointment is all about me.  I was looking forward to some things that just didn't happen and I took it personally as usual and BAM! Back to self pity mode.....am I trying to sabotage this journey?  Am I sabotaging or just getting bored with this and my ADD is kicking in?  I think in my past I am always so quick to move on to something bigger and better.  My sister in law calls them shiny bubbles.  When you see them you just need to go chase them!  Life is always going to give you disappointing moments, I know this!  When will I learn to just give it ALL over to HIM?  I just went to Biblegateway.com to copy my reading for today, when look what the reading for the day is on this website??????
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”” - Joshua 1:9
So obviously, this is my scripture for the day!!  Okay,  LORD GOD, MIGHTY ONE OF MY LIFE!!  I get it.  I will not be afraid, for I know that YOU are with me.  Isaiah 40:30-31 says 
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.
I understand this so much more that I ever have today!  HE is never going to let me go...I get it again today.

so day 26,.....did an extremely hard wallpaper job and got stressed, didn't get the wrap I wanted for lunch and got stressed, got a sad phone call and got stressed.......rest of life???? getting it slowly but surely!

We all get weary, but the KING of ALL CREATION is calling you to HIM.  Have hope that HE is there helping you with the rest of your life....and today is the first day!  I love you all, peace and stillness is being prayed over you tonight.

Jules

Days 24 & 25

So I am back to the cocoon for a while and quite frankly very happy about that.  I am looking forward to this next week to see if this last trip away kicked me out of the slump I was in last week.  Lots happened on this trip and I feel so empowered like never before.
Had a conversation with one of my daughters' friends who was trying to get me into a religious argument, was able to stay pretty calm for most of it, then the WORD stepped in and the peace that took over was a miracle to me!  I could actually feel the presence of the Holy Spirit as I was talking about something in the WORD to her, like I have never felt before.  You know how I keep talking about "the smokescreen"....can I even imagine how much I have missed in this lifetime?  Listen to what Beth Moore said yesterday....The most effective means the enemy has to keep believers from being full of the SPIRIT, is to keep us full of ourselves.  Smoking definitely kept me from being full of the SPIRIT!!  Do you know how much time it takes to have a habit like this?  For me, it was planning when I could have a smoke, and keeping track of that plan throughout the day.  So full of my self!!
I did walk into my house today and thought about when would I have a smoke?  When do these thoughts go away?  Is this something I will always live with?  One of my dearest friends is on day 5 (praise the Holy One of the universe!) and she is listening to a meditative cd about quitting smoking.  It is telling her to keep repeating certain phrases like 'I am a non-smoker' and others.  Not a bad idea and I am going to try that.  Oh, and by the way, she got the post nasal drip and is actually being able to tell people, "Oh, pardon me, I have post nasal drip because I quit smoking!"  Not fair she got to steal my line!!  Too, TOO Funny....we have been laughing pretty hard over this!
So the last couple of days have been pretty great all around and my readings have mostly been in Proverbs...the proverb that is most affecting me is Prov 8:32-36.  This version is from The Message...
 ^32-36 "So, my dear friends, listen carefully;
   those who embrace these my ways are most blessed.
Mark a life of discipline and live wisely;
   don't squander your precious life.
Blessed the man, blessed the woman, who listens to me,
   awake and ready for me each morning,
   alert and responsive as I start my day's work.
When you find me, you find life, real life,
   to say nothing of God's good pleasure.
But if you wrong me, you damage your very soul;
   when you reject me, you're flirting with death." 

This whole proverb is talking about wisdom...enough said!


Day 23 & 24....faced some tough areas and conquered some fears, didn't sleep hardly at all, drove 1200 miles, laughed hysterically and cried hysterically, .......rest of life??? wiser and wiser, clearer and clearer!!

Blessings on your life, seek Wisdom in your every day, which is the WORD.  Keep praying for me, I need it so badly and remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life.  Make it count, love yourself to your fullest capacity and praise the KING of KINGS for what HE is doing for you.  I love you all so much.

Jules

day 22

So had some reflection time today and noticed that I was finally beginning to truly embrace the process and all that happens when you quit something so big.  All the weird things that have happened with my body, heretofore known as "detoxing", has been a thorn in my side.  I haven't really loved it all, I think I should have been loving it ALL. Would those transitions been easier if I had loved them instead of whined about them?  Perhaps.  I know I am still going through detoxing my body.  But what about detoxing the mind?  Why do I still think about having a smoke?  I know those moments are getting fewer and fewer but it still shocks me when I have one.  Take tonight...having a great dinner with family and all of a sudden, wanted to go to my purse and go have a smoke.  Maybe, I did enjoy them sometimes.  I know I didn't enjoy them as soon as I was done.  I have heard that cigarette addiction could be compared to heroin addiction.  I am refusing to believe these things that are told to us as soon as we start to quit.  Not only does it give you a way out, it also makes you believe this is impossible!  Nothing is impossible with GOD!
Listen to this that I read today based on Luke 5:4  'Launch out into the deep'.
            Into the deep of the Holy Spirit, until He becomes a bright, dazzling, sweet, fathomless summer sea, in which we bathe and bask and breathe, and lose ourselves and our sorrows in the calmness and peace of His everlasting presence.
This evokes such a beautiful picture to me of how GOD is saying to me...Trust ME!  Launch out into the deep!  We have to get deep with this addiction.  I am just discovering the why of it and bringing it all into the light!  Praise HIM!  If I keep fighting my own inner battles, I will never have the strength to fight the enemy who is trying to destroy me!  I am bowing to the KING and allowing HIM once again to take this from me.

So, day 22...last day of Feb, wow...forgot to get battle gear on, missed yoga again!, had lots of fun with grandkids, struggled with thoughts, ...rest of life???? keeping my head above water!!

Love to you all...keep praying for me.  I am so thankful for your support.  May today be the first day of the rest of your life, it was for me.

Jules

Day 21

Okay, so today was more about not smoking than I think any other day was.  I was with my 4 youngest grandsons and I looked at all of them together and thought....I would have been trying to figure out how I was going to get a smoke right about now without any of them seeing me.  It was kinda sad to me that I even had that thought creep in to my brain today.  So now that I am a non-smokin Nana (yeah!!)...my 4 youngest grandsons will never know I was a smoker.  Wow!  That is bringing tears to my eyes.
It was a really good day today. Two of my dearest friends are committing to quitting! I am sending them all the love and grace that Jesus can give because this is a spiritual journey along with a physical one!  One of the healers I am seeing right now spoke to me the other day about the "shame" of being a christian smoker!  It is so true...I would put on my christian mask and pretend I was not a smoker.  The stigma being that "why didn't you quit when you got saved?  Jesus should be able to be enough for you.....so sad how the christians are killing the christians.  The judgments we project onto one another must be breaking GODS heart into a million tiny pieces.  Don't get me wrong, I am the biggest judger of all time.  I am learning pretty quickly that my belief system has been pretty far off from the heart of the Mighty ONE who Saves.
My readings today were, of course, exactly what I needed to hear...Beth Moore said "How many times have I fed on ashes instead of feasting on the Word? How many times has my deluded heart misled me?"
Pretty profound for me!  Then my daily reading was Rom 7: 21-25:
²¹So I’ve discovered this truth: Evil is present with me even when I want to do what God’s standards say is good. ²²I take pleasure in God’s standards in my inner being. ²³However, I see a different standard at work throughout my body. It is at war with the standards my mind sets and tries to take me captive to sin’s standards which still exist throughout my body. ²⁴What a miserable person I am! Who will rescue me from my dying body? ²⁵I thank God that our Lord Jesus Christ rescues me! So I am obedient to God’s standards with my mind, but I am obedient to sin’s standards with my corrupt nature.
Our corrupt nature keeps us smoking even when every part of us loathes it! God is so in control here!  I am once again in awe of my LORD and KING! I could never have done this without HIM!  My flesh (corrupt nature) is so weak, but I want nothing more than to be obedient to HIM.

so, day 21.....loved on my grandkids, missed out on bikram yoga, saw a great comedy show..rest of life??? obedient

Love to you all...to those who started their day 1?  I am praying constantly, remember God has you in His hands and HE is gripping you tightly!  Hold on to HIS promise to you.....Love yourself enough, it is enough.
God Bless you and praying for your rest of life.

 Jules

Day 20

Well, I officially am at the 3 week mark,  I am feeling like I need to change the name of my blog to rest of life???
Funny how this has become so much more than just quitting smoking and more about examining all the addictions and areas GOD wants to fix in my life.
Yes, yesterday sucked and it was a big transition for me.  I finally identified that I was hiding. The biggest thing I was hiding is the fear of trusting anyone with knowing the real me.  I have compartmentalized my whole life!  Hence, the half life......what is the rest of my life going to look like?  I don't know, and frankly don't want to. That paralyzes me and puts all the control back into my hands and I am done!!!  It is so scary and exciting as I venture deeper into who GOD has intended me to be.
Giving up the past....the past is also an addiction for me.  As long as I had the scared and lonely little girl, I could keep the mask on and I could still be the victim.  I didn't even know that I needed to hold on to her in order for me to feel safe.  God is showing me everyday that HE is holding that little girl and I can trust HIM!  I feel a shift in the balance of my life...yesterday was all about being in the tornado.  Today, there is grace abounding!  Check out what my reading was today!  2Cor 12: 8-10 says:
⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 
And all I can say is Glory to GOD in the Highest....I bow before the Creator.


So..day 20, crawled on my hands and knees to finally stand, had such amazing conversations, looked at the light of DAY.......rest of life???? Being a great believer!!

Love and peace, grace that fills your every cell and sinew...HE loves you more that you will ever imagine!  May your day 1 be glory unto HIM.  I am so proud that you are stepping out in faith.
Lovingly,
Jules

Day 19

Today sucked!  Thats all I have felt all day that I could write.  This has become a much bigger picture than quitting smoking.  The spiritual side of this is huge and very scary.  Gods purpose for not healing me immediately, I don't understand because I don't want to go to the places he is taking me.  Take this from me O Lord of the Heavens and Earth, I don't want to fall apart. 
I know there are times in our lives that God needs to clean house.  (Funny, I would use that term since I can't clean my house right now) This is that time for me.  Interesting too, my reading today was Eccles 3. Verse1 says:
¹ There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:
So all I can do right now is believe GOD.

day 19..........................rest of life?????shaky

God Bless you all, keep praying for me please.  Today is day one again!

day 18

I thought I was going to be writing about the cravings hitting today but then I knew I was supposed to go in a different direction.  Life has been way too serious and trudging through the muck that I need to lighten up!!  That is so not me and I can only take a few days of it.  My husband was getting all sad reading my blogs too!  So here we go.......I was having alot of random thoughts about the things I can do now that I am a non-smoker:

1. get a better rate on my car insurance...i don't know why a smoker has to pay a higher rate on car insurance, but they do
2. do less laundry.....I hate laundry and now my laundry has been cut by 90%
3. stand closer to buildings......don't have to worry about the 10 foot rule
4. get plastic surgery......if I want
5. detail my car and have it stay clean for longer than a week.......
6. sing better....
7. not get an offensive littering ticket
8. not burn down a forest......

It is weird to me that I haven't been around one smoker since I quit.  Was I the only smoker left in the world?  I know  there are smokers out there and how will I handle it if I am around someone smoking?  I would hope that HIS grace would surround me.  My favorite coffee talk girl, Adrienna, told me today that GOD was working on her perfectionism and HE said it was an addiction.  That is so true!  I know that I have used that as a cover as much as I used smoking as a cover!  These are our smoke screens we hide behind, all our little addictions we use as coping mechanisms.   This made me have to reflect again about why did I smoke for all those years?  I know that when I got stressed or anything, I would go have a smoke.  Coping mechanism....yes?  The more upset I would get about anything, I would smoke.  Self-reflection is a good thing.  It brings us to a point where we start to love ourselves, that which we are told not to do in our society.  We are taught to be self-centered, but that is not loving ourselves.  We are GODS MASTERPIECE! Think about that...HE loves us so much, why do we not love ourselves? I do love my personality traits....but the whole package?  I'm working on it.  No....take that back.... my LORD and KING, Creator of the Heavens and the Earth is working on it!

so day 18.....did yoga, drank too much coffee, did take some vitamins, took a good nap, had more coffee with A, rest of life?...........being a non-smoker and loving myself!

Loving you all, and thanking you for your support through this journey!  Today is the first day of the rest of your life!  Love yourselves and how special you really are!

Jules

Day 17

Today has been a day of ......ambiguity.  Which the dictionary definition is:  1-doubtfulness or uncertainty of meaning or intention: to speak with ambiguity; an ambiguity of manner.'  Had several things I needed to do today and the mere fact I was "ambiguous in my manner" caused me some stress.  Best thing I learned today was "I am Gods masterpiece." Eph 2:10.   This is actually in the bible!  It made me realize that I was taking this process out of HIS hands !once again!, and putting it all on me.  I have become the perfect quitter!  No one else can quit smoking as good as me.  The glory of GOD was not going to be shown in this...it was the glory of Jules.  So needless to say, my body !once again! shut down.  My mind joined in too and "clickity clack" came back!  It took most of the day to ponder this new thought and while I was at yoga tonight, I acknowledged this.  The cankles started to go away, and so did "clickety"....I thank The ALMIGHTY ONE who cares about every little thing about me!  It is a wonder and a miracle every day.  I love that HE is not letting me get too far into my crazy...ness!!!before putting me back in my place.  HE loves us so. 
I am excited again about this process and am so ready to delve deeper into the psyche that comes with this.    It is a journey to discover who you are again without this addiction.  Sometimes it seems like "here we go again, another wardrobe change!" when actually it is GOD's way of molding and shaping us.  Being a willing vessel is the hardest part.  I LOVE who I am.....the quirkiness, the fact I wake up every day in a good mood, my ability to love, everything!  I didn't really think I needed to change, but obviously GOD has other purposes and plans.  I really believe that I was getting ready to rob myself of the beautiful plan that God has in this.  HE LOVES US SO!


so day 17....cleaned living room, had bible study, ate decent food, went to yoga, praising the KING!!!....rest of life?? lifted out of the pit!


May the Creator of the Universe be with you all tonight.  I pray for you and believe that you will be blessed beyond measure, and hoping you see HIS glory in everything around you!
Lovingly yours,
Jules

day 16

What a day!  This is by far the worst day I have ever had......ankles are swollen to the point of cankles, can't keep my eyes open and I have a really bad attitude!  Don't have any cravings, which I am praising God for!, because I don't know how well I could handle that too.
So maybe I am having some nicotine withdrawal things going on.  Here is the list I am using as a resource:

NicotineWithdrawal Symptoms/My symptoms

• Cravings to smoke/no
• Irritable, cranky/yes...finally today!!!
• Insomnia/yes
• Fatigue/yes
• Inability to Concentrate/yes
• Headache/no
• Cough/no
• Sore throat/no
• Constipation, gas, stomach pain/no and no more than usual and no
• Dry mouth/no
• Sore tongue and/or gums/no
• Postnasal drip/maybe....I kinda wish I had this one
• Tightness in the chest/no   

I certainly don't see cankles on the list.

Beth Moore was really good today, her heading read "A Christian is held captive by anything that hinders the abundant, effective, spirit-filled life God planned for Him."  I can look at smoking as hindering my life and something that also held me captive.  I am speaking out more about living a half-life.  This has been what most of my life has been about.  I kept most things about myself to myself, because to really let people in you have to reveal yourself to them.  I know the Mighty ONE of the Universe knows all about me, every hair on my head (we all need to read PS 139 everyday!), but I didn't know me.  The half lives.......kept me in a half life with HIM too.  I am learning to trust in my LORD and KING...Ps 62:5-8 says
 ⁵ Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
      for my hope is in him.
 ⁶ He alone is my rock and my salvation,
      my fortress where I will not be shaken.
 ⁷ My victory and honor come from God alone.
      He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
 ⁸ O my people, trust in him at all times.
      Pour out your heart to him,
      for God is our refuge.

so..day 16....woke up late for yoga again, saw Dr.Bond, had ION cleanse, got grossed out again, fell asleep folding clothes........rest of life???? trusting the Ruler of the Heavens and Earth will take this from me!

Love to you all, keep praying and thanks for all your support!  I am believing for your rest of life and your day one whatever that may be.  God Bless
Jules

Day 15

Thank the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY I am back in the cocoon!  I always thought the hardest place for me to be during my worst phases of this journey would be my home.....it is the only place I am not having cravings!  Got all the Value Village things cleaned of the 'smoking demons' and was able to bring them into the cocoon so everything is still safe here.  Okay, if I were to analyze this all the way through, I would have to say my home was never a relaxing place to smoke at all.  Since I never smoked in front of my husband (who never ever! saw me smoke in 15yrs of our marriage, mind you) and I would hide in my backyard from people....definitely, this is the easiest place to not smoke!  I did love smoking in my car..no, that's not true either, because I was always worried I might see someone I know.  Did I ever enjoy smoking????  Yes I did!  I believe that was in the 80's, everyone was smoking everything.  Should have quit as soon as the 80's were over.  But secretly don't we all wish it were still the 80's? 

So today has been a good day.  Googled side effects of nicotine withdrawal, and the symptoms are really not what I am having!  Why would I even do that I have to ask myself??  Great to know that GOD has the side effects in HIS hands.  I have heard from several people that hardest days would be 3rd day, 3 weeks, 3 months, etc?  Rereading my first days...that was day 5, days 13 & 14.  Pretty sure I am not following any of the "this is what will happen" things. 

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.  That scripture keeps popping up almost on a daily basis.  Heard it randomly on a commercial this morning!  God is so good to me.  One of my daily readings is in this old book written in 1925 called "Streams in the Desert".  The reading today was Ps 37:7  Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for HIM.  I know how impatient I usually am, wanting everything done right now.  He is teaching me that not everything is supposed to come so easily.  How long does it take to grow an amazing garden?  Mine is years in the process and it still isn't anywhere close to where I want it to be.  I want Him to mold and shape where this is headed and I can only pray I will listen and keep my self out of it.  Thought....... I want to be the garden and let GOD design and prune and weed and cultivate my heart, mind, and soul.  I love this idea.  HE has purpose in everything, so am trying to keep that thought in the forefront of my minds eye.

So, day 15.....overslept and missed yoga, , lunch with a friend,  house a disaster area and don't care....rest of life?......waiting patiently.

Praying for you, believing for you, and hoping for your day 1.
Lovingly, Jules

days 13 & 14

Wow! What a weekend!  You would think that more time passes and it will be easier and BOOM! the cravings finally hit like crazy!  In reading day 12, I was living in lala land where everything smelled like a tangerine and world peace was right around the corner.  Thanks for the slap upside the head Oh mighty ONE, maker of heaven and earth!  I knew this was going a little too easy. 
I went to Value Village with my sister in law and everything smelled like tobacco.  Weird to say the least but the smell lingered in my brain for the whole weekend.  I wondered if  items I purchased were possessed by smokers!  My brother & sister inlaw prayed for awhile to help me past the urges and thank God they were there!  I was at a point today where I was going to bum one from a total stranger, then one of my kids called.  That could have only been GOD!  His presence in this...................... Everytime I think I can't do it, HE says I can.
Something has been rolling around my head for a few days, the word "purpose".  I don't know exactly what I will be doing with this word yet, but we know, that all of us were created for Gods purpose.  He is the master of the universe and his plans and purpose for our lives is such a mystery.  Are we ready to live for HIS purpose?  I do know, I feel there is such a purpose in what is happening with the quit......loved ones have suggested using aids and everytime I think I should, there is this overwhelming feeling that God is saying no.  Be patient, and wait for ME!  I had angry moments this weekend which haven't happened and really felt under attack.  (Still having cravings but finally back in cocoon so all should be well soon!)  I am believing that with change comes difficulty, so everyday is a challenge that HE is giving me.  Refining my life, polishing my spirit, and loving my self....... Praise Him in all things!

so day 13 and 14......no yoga, no exercise or survival kit, 1 box of Wheat Thins, 2 cups peanuts, 1 bag of gummi bears, 2 days of constant shopping, rest of life?........crawling on hands and knees

God Bless, keep praying, and know that it starts with day 1.

Day 12

Ok...here it is day 12 and these are the things I am noticing about being a non-smoker....
1:     I wore a shirt 2 days in a row
2:     I have forgotten my purse and gotten to the store and had to go home and get it!  (Now I am worried I           will forget it other places too)
3:     I want to be closer to my husband now that I smell nice.
4:     My husband wants to be closer to me!
5.     I really like chocolate....so random
I am not thinking as clearly though, this seems weird to me.  I find myself in stare mode alot!  Is this because I am detoxing?  Had an ION Cleanse treatment this morning...so gross yet so interesting.  My water was orange with white foam and green stuff.  I was detoxing the lymph system, gallbladder, and joints.  You would think the lungs would have a role right now but everything I am reading and hearing has to do with the gallbladder.  I am excited to see what happens on my next treatment.
I was reading Beth Moore this morning and the heading on todays devotion was...God is not looking for spiritual giants.  He is looking for believers who believe for a change!  I am believing God is changing me day by day in this whole process.  Not only am I not wigging out in this quitting process, but everyday I am finding power where there was none, and peace where there was strife!  I think at times my mind and body were at war and now I feel such a calm inside.  Only God could bring this to me, it makes me humbled that He had so prepared me to do this!  Thank you Lord for your presence and protection!

So, day 12.....bikram was powerful, oatmeal was delicious, ION cleanse was gross, God is so AWESOME! rest of life?......at peace.

Love and peace to all and remember...today is the first day of the rest of your life!
Jules

Day 11 OK...so there are support groups!

So...might have jumped the gun a little as there are support groups called nicotine anonymous, which sounds pretty disgusting, if you ask me.  I do like smokers anon, (thank you Heidi,) and maybe just the really cool people will read this!  The principles are the same as AA, working the 12 step program, getting a sponsor and all that.  I don't know that a program like that would have worked for me.  Here I am on day 11, and it seems like I am doing pretty good.  I barely had a craving yesterday and thoughts of smoking came only around 2 or 3 times.  That is huge for me because clickity-clack (the smoker demon in my head) had been talking most everyday, all day!  Interesting this morning as I was getting home from my workouts, I really wanted a cigarette!  First time I have thought like that.  Noticed I was really thirsty and hadn't eaten yet.  After eating and drinking, craving went away.  Note to self....
So here it is day 11...workouts done, cravings huge!!!, house a mess, rest of life?.......humbled
Love to all and remember you can do it! Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Jules

days 1-10

So.... as I have embarked on this journey to quit smoking after 33 yrs, I have discovered that there are no support groups like AA or NA in my area that I know of.  I have been posting on my facebook page everyday what this has felt like.  Are other people out there who are trying to quit and wish they had a support group to go to?
Here are my postings so far from facebook....

today is the first day of the rest of my life....

Day 2....rest of life! Yeah

day 2.5....6 apples, 12 times brushing teeth, 8 vit C lozenges, 2 showers, 0 complete sentences.....rest of life? Priceless

day 3...smoothie drank, workout done, massage @ 12, house is clean...rest of life? Awwesome!!!!

day 4...driving to eugene, survival kit in hand,,,,,rest of life? let you know late

day 4.5...climbed a mountain, drank a coffee, praised my KING, rest of life? Victorious!

day 5...workout done, lozenges-3, thieves oil constant, rest of life?.....struggling!

day 5.75....made it over the hump!...rest of life? stay tuned

day 6....feeling amazingly weird?...rest of life? I think the future is bright and Im gonna have to wear some shades!

day 6.75... 2Cor 4:8-10 We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but we do not give up. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. Rest of Life??? I am a child of God!!

 Day 7...smoothie drank, bikram yoga accomplished, new activewear in bag, rest of life????? Powerful!

 Day 8...bikram killed me, smoothie delicious!, cravings=0.......rest of life? strong!

 day 9.....1.5 hrs bikram yoga, 6 hrs in car, climbed the mountain again today! rest of life? believing!

 day 10...water spraying all over bathroom, clickity clack , SHUT UP! dont need a cig....rest of life? breathing

 and so the journey begins in this blog.....stay tuned.  As far as the rest of day 10? my word is READY!!!!