Day 15

Thank the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY I am back in the cocoon!  I always thought the hardest place for me to be during my worst phases of this journey would be my home.....it is the only place I am not having cravings!  Got all the Value Village things cleaned of the 'smoking demons' and was able to bring them into the cocoon so everything is still safe here.  Okay, if I were to analyze this all the way through, I would have to say my home was never a relaxing place to smoke at all.  Since I never smoked in front of my husband (who never ever! saw me smoke in 15yrs of our marriage, mind you) and I would hide in my backyard from people....definitely, this is the easiest place to not smoke!  I did love smoking in my car..no, that's not true either, because I was always worried I might see someone I know.  Did I ever enjoy smoking????  Yes I did!  I believe that was in the 80's, everyone was smoking everything.  Should have quit as soon as the 80's were over.  But secretly don't we all wish it were still the 80's? 

So today has been a good day.  Googled side effects of nicotine withdrawal, and the symptoms are really not what I am having!  Why would I even do that I have to ask myself??  Great to know that GOD has the side effects in HIS hands.  I have heard from several people that hardest days would be 3rd day, 3 weeks, 3 months, etc?  Rereading my first days...that was day 5, days 13 & 14.  Pretty sure I am not following any of the "this is what will happen" things. 

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.  That scripture keeps popping up almost on a daily basis.  Heard it randomly on a commercial this morning!  God is so good to me.  One of my daily readings is in this old book written in 1925 called "Streams in the Desert".  The reading today was Ps 37:7  Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for HIM.  I know how impatient I usually am, wanting everything done right now.  He is teaching me that not everything is supposed to come so easily.  How long does it take to grow an amazing garden?  Mine is years in the process and it still isn't anywhere close to where I want it to be.  I want Him to mold and shape where this is headed and I can only pray I will listen and keep my self out of it.  Thought....... I want to be the garden and let GOD design and prune and weed and cultivate my heart, mind, and soul.  I love this idea.  HE has purpose in everything, so am trying to keep that thought in the forefront of my minds eye.

So, day 15.....overslept and missed yoga, , lunch with a friend,  house a disaster area and don't care....rest of life?......waiting patiently.

Praying for you, believing for you, and hoping for your day 1.
Lovingly, Jules