days 13 & 14

Wow! What a weekend!  You would think that more time passes and it will be easier and BOOM! the cravings finally hit like crazy!  In reading day 12, I was living in lala land where everything smelled like a tangerine and world peace was right around the corner.  Thanks for the slap upside the head Oh mighty ONE, maker of heaven and earth!  I knew this was going a little too easy. 
I went to Value Village with my sister in law and everything smelled like tobacco.  Weird to say the least but the smell lingered in my brain for the whole weekend.  I wondered if  items I purchased were possessed by smokers!  My brother & sister inlaw prayed for awhile to help me past the urges and thank God they were there!  I was at a point today where I was going to bum one from a total stranger, then one of my kids called.  That could have only been GOD!  His presence in this...................... Everytime I think I can't do it, HE says I can.
Something has been rolling around my head for a few days, the word "purpose".  I don't know exactly what I will be doing with this word yet, but we know, that all of us were created for Gods purpose.  He is the master of the universe and his plans and purpose for our lives is such a mystery.  Are we ready to live for HIS purpose?  I do know, I feel there is such a purpose in what is happening with the quit......loved ones have suggested using aids and everytime I think I should, there is this overwhelming feeling that God is saying no.  Be patient, and wait for ME!  I had angry moments this weekend which haven't happened and really felt under attack.  (Still having cravings but finally back in cocoon so all should be well soon!)  I am believing that with change comes difficulty, so everyday is a challenge that HE is giving me.  Refining my life, polishing my spirit, and loving my self....... Praise Him in all things!

so day 13 and 14......no yoga, no exercise or survival kit, 1 box of Wheat Thins, 2 cups peanuts, 1 bag of gummi bears, 2 days of constant shopping, rest of life?........crawling on hands and knees

God Bless, keep praying, and know that it starts with day 1.