Day 21

Okay, so today was more about not smoking than I think any other day was.  I was with my 4 youngest grandsons and I looked at all of them together and thought....I would have been trying to figure out how I was going to get a smoke right about now without any of them seeing me.  It was kinda sad to me that I even had that thought creep in to my brain today.  So now that I am a non-smokin Nana (yeah!!)...my 4 youngest grandsons will never know I was a smoker.  Wow!  That is bringing tears to my eyes.
It was a really good day today. Two of my dearest friends are committing to quitting! I am sending them all the love and grace that Jesus can give because this is a spiritual journey along with a physical one!  One of the healers I am seeing right now spoke to me the other day about the "shame" of being a christian smoker!  It is so true...I would put on my christian mask and pretend I was not a smoker.  The stigma being that "why didn't you quit when you got saved?  Jesus should be able to be enough for you.....so sad how the christians are killing the christians.  The judgments we project onto one another must be breaking GODS heart into a million tiny pieces.  Don't get me wrong, I am the biggest judger of all time.  I am learning pretty quickly that my belief system has been pretty far off from the heart of the Mighty ONE who Saves.
My readings today were, of course, exactly what I needed to hear...Beth Moore said "How many times have I fed on ashes instead of feasting on the Word? How many times has my deluded heart misled me?"
Pretty profound for me!  Then my daily reading was Rom 7: 21-25:
²¹So I’ve discovered this truth: Evil is present with me even when I want to do what God’s standards say is good. ²²I take pleasure in God’s standards in my inner being. ²³However, I see a different standard at work throughout my body. It is at war with the standards my mind sets and tries to take me captive to sin’s standards which still exist throughout my body. ²⁴What a miserable person I am! Who will rescue me from my dying body? ²⁵I thank God that our Lord Jesus Christ rescues me! So I am obedient to God’s standards with my mind, but I am obedient to sin’s standards with my corrupt nature.
Our corrupt nature keeps us smoking even when every part of us loathes it! God is so in control here!  I am once again in awe of my LORD and KING! I could never have done this without HIM!  My flesh (corrupt nature) is so weak, but I want nothing more than to be obedient to HIM.

so, day 21.....loved on my grandkids, missed out on bikram yoga, saw a great comedy show..rest of life??? obedient

Love to you all...to those who started their day 1?  I am praying constantly, remember God has you in His hands and HE is gripping you tightly!  Hold on to HIS promise to you.....Love yourself enough, it is enough.
God Bless you and praying for your rest of life.

 Jules