day 22

So had some reflection time today and noticed that I was finally beginning to truly embrace the process and all that happens when you quit something so big.  All the weird things that have happened with my body, heretofore known as "detoxing", has been a thorn in my side.  I haven't really loved it all, I think I should have been loving it ALL. Would those transitions been easier if I had loved them instead of whined about them?  Perhaps.  I know I am still going through detoxing my body.  But what about detoxing the mind?  Why do I still think about having a smoke?  I know those moments are getting fewer and fewer but it still shocks me when I have one.  Take tonight...having a great dinner with family and all of a sudden, wanted to go to my purse and go have a smoke.  Maybe, I did enjoy them sometimes.  I know I didn't enjoy them as soon as I was done.  I have heard that cigarette addiction could be compared to heroin addiction.  I am refusing to believe these things that are told to us as soon as we start to quit.  Not only does it give you a way out, it also makes you believe this is impossible!  Nothing is impossible with GOD!
Listen to this that I read today based on Luke 5:4  'Launch out into the deep'.
            Into the deep of the Holy Spirit, until He becomes a bright, dazzling, sweet, fathomless summer sea, in which we bathe and bask and breathe, and lose ourselves and our sorrows in the calmness and peace of His everlasting presence.
This evokes such a beautiful picture to me of how GOD is saying to me...Trust ME!  Launch out into the deep!  We have to get deep with this addiction.  I am just discovering the why of it and bringing it all into the light!  Praise HIM!  If I keep fighting my own inner battles, I will never have the strength to fight the enemy who is trying to destroy me!  I am bowing to the KING and allowing HIM once again to take this from me.

So, day 22...last day of Feb, wow...forgot to get battle gear on, missed yoga again!, had lots of fun with grandkids, struggled with thoughts, ...rest of life???? keeping my head above water!!

Love to you all...keep praying for me.  I am so thankful for your support.  May today be the first day of the rest of your life, it was for me.

Jules