I know I should be writing more but finding the time right now has been difficult. Lots going on though, seems I get to keep on with all my treatments and trying to figure out why my body has decided to go awol on me. I know this is all emotional garbage that GOD is moving out, so it becomes scary, not only emotionally but physically as well. I am finally starting to cry, REAL BIG DEAL! for me....my poor best friend got the worst of it and was probably the only one I know that could take it. Aren't we so blessed as women to have our girlfriends? I hope your men understand the girlfriend thing.....we make each other better women, don't you think?
So today is all about letting go, forgiving myself, and letting the hurt finally heal. The smokescreen was needed to hide the pain and now that it is gone, I get to see the real truths about my rest of life. My readings today are great reminders for me to honor GOD by honoring my body. Taking care of this earthly vessel is sometimes so mundane and I hate taking the time to do it, but I have to keep looking at where I am because of that very thought. Here is 1 COR 6:19-20
19You surely know that your body is a temple where the Holy Spirit lives. The Spirit is in you and is a gift from God. You are no longer your own. 20God paid a great price for you.
What a privilege it is to know that HE is doing all this for my good and HIS glory. I saw a picture in my head of my past life the other day...there was this pile of ashes and I was rising up out of it and the ashes were the all the days I smoked and just burned away. I am so thankful I have quit. And again, here is another scripture from today: LUKE 1:37 "Nothing, you see, is impossible with God." HE is the only way I can get through all this!
So I am looking back through the last 112 days and seeing the hand of GOD woven throughout this process. Now I can see the lessons, (sometimes hard, sometimes easy) are showing me how GOD wants me to be. I feel pretty fragile still but that is to be expected. If you are in the process of quitting right now, don't give up. It just gets better and better. There is this spot in the 3 month area where you believe you are done......you think you can have one, why not? what will it hurt? you just did 100 days! LIES LIES LIES!!! I almost gave in. I was with a friend for a week and she is a smoker, could have easily gotten one from her, then I heard the "VOICE" and prayed. Thought went away and knew I had dodged a bullet.
Check this out....it is from the NLT version- 1 PETER 5:8 "Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."
So, day 112.............was at peace for the first time in 2 weeks, ate well, drank lots of water, heard GOD all day.........rest of life????? LIVING with fullness!
If this is your day one, give it over to the ALMIGHTY ONE, HE can see you through it all. Believe in HIS power not your own. HE loves you so much!
Lovingly and in prayer, Jules
Winging it...
13 years ago
1 comments:
So proud of you!!
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