Day 19

Today sucked!  Thats all I have felt all day that I could write.  This has become a much bigger picture than quitting smoking.  The spiritual side of this is huge and very scary.  Gods purpose for not healing me immediately, I don't understand because I don't want to go to the places he is taking me.  Take this from me O Lord of the Heavens and Earth, I don't want to fall apart. 
I know there are times in our lives that God needs to clean house.  (Funny, I would use that term since I can't clean my house right now) This is that time for me.  Interesting too, my reading today was Eccles 3. Verse1 says:
¹ There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:
So all I can do right now is believe GOD.

day 19..........................rest of life?????shaky

God Bless you all, keep praying for me please.  Today is day one again!